うあ。 [コトノハ]
考え事すると頭痛くなるからやなのです。
仕事以外で三歩以上先を読むのはしんどいのです。
自分と自分の周りのことを考えるだけで割とキャパはいっぱいいっぱいなのです。
別に私じゃなくても愛して認めて尽くしてくれる人はいるもんねーとか思ってしまうのです。
オンリーワンはしんどいのです。
自分が潰れてしまったら全部終わってしまうのです。
ちょっとできがよくて気が回って、猫の手よりは重宝されるくらいがちょうどよいのです。
たぶんこれから毎年寒くなると思い出すのです。
病院のベッドの上で情けなくて悔しくて辛くて涙が止まらなかったことを思い出すのです。
病み上がりの身体で後始末に追われて三ヶ月も忘れられないのです。
だから会社は自分を守ってくれないと、お友達には言い聞かせ続けているのです。
でも私は自分のプライドにかけても、古巣への礼を欠くことはできなかったのです。
どんなに酷い扱いを受けても、どんなに無意味な時間だったと思い返しても、たった一つだけ手元に残るものがあるのです。
それは「前よりはマシ」という究極の自己暗示の呪文なのです。
仕事以外で三歩以上先を読むのはしんどいのです。
自分と自分の周りのことを考えるだけで割とキャパはいっぱいいっぱいなのです。
別に私じゃなくても愛して認めて尽くしてくれる人はいるもんねーとか思ってしまうのです。
オンリーワンはしんどいのです。
自分が潰れてしまったら全部終わってしまうのです。
ちょっとできがよくて気が回って、猫の手よりは重宝されるくらいがちょうどよいのです。
たぶんこれから毎年寒くなると思い出すのです。
病院のベッドの上で情けなくて悔しくて辛くて涙が止まらなかったことを思い出すのです。
病み上がりの身体で後始末に追われて三ヶ月も忘れられないのです。
だから会社は自分を守ってくれないと、お友達には言い聞かせ続けているのです。
でも私は自分のプライドにかけても、古巣への礼を欠くことはできなかったのです。
どんなに酷い扱いを受けても、どんなに無意味な時間だったと思い返しても、たった一つだけ手元に残るものがあるのです。
それは「前よりはマシ」という究極の自己暗示の呪文なのです。
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